On how George Lucas is a knob, and how I may be an alcoholic

So, here's my theory.

Alec Guinness dies, right? He goes to heaven. Where else would he go, having spent his life working so hard to inspire and enlighten us with his work?

He's all like, "Hey God, look. I worked so hard down there at my craft, and all they care about is this stupid Star Wars movie. It's a bad movie, right? It's this really trope-ridden space drama with an uninspired script that the kids are just nuts for. It's all anyone remembers me for."

And God's all like, "Yeah, it's pretty tragic. You did such good work interpreting Shakespeare and all. Don't worry about it. I'll make it up to you. By the way, thanks for "Lady Killers" and "Kind Hearts and Coronets".

And that's how things like this happen.

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A conversation after having purchased a 1.75 liter bottle of gin and while I am mixing tasty, tasty drinks.

Dave: We don't look like alcoholics. We're just thrifty, right? Because we know that we'll use it within the year...

...or month...

...or week...

Me: Hour.

Captain's Table

2 oz gin
1 oz orange juice
1/2 oz Campari
1 tsp grenadine

Shake with ice. Strain into a collins glass half filled with ice. Add:

4 ounces of ginger beer

Or half a bottle. Fentiman's is best, but if you can't swing it, Presidents' Choice has a nice bite to it. Top with a maraschino cherry, but only if you have the real ones. The fake ones at the grocery store are nasty.

aaaaaand it's bedtime.